Why I will never ask how school is going for your kids

Chances are great that if I know you I like you and I like your kids too (the apple tree of it all…). No matter, I will not be asking how school is going for your kids. Preschool, kindergarten, sixth grade, high school – doesn’t matter what the milestone may be, I have learned through life that somethings are far too wrought to tangles with and school (specifically, preparing your own children to go there) is one of them.
I hesitate to say that this year (a whopping nine days of it so far) has been the easiest go I have had at sending off Little Sister. Tears have been minimal, meltdowns tempered to a low grade sniffle. But while I was in the gut churning of it all the last two years I never REALLY believed I would land at this soft place. This non-belief was steadfast in the same way you might have told my twelve year old self I would one day “grow out of” wearing mostly Tommy Hilfiger Men’s polo shirts and abandon listening to Tupac’s “Makaveli” on repeat – I couldn’t fathom it.

When people would ask, with the best of intentions, how school was going, or how the kids liked school, it felt like a knife to the heart – though truth be told I am only imagining here as I have fortunately never experienced that in the flesh. I mentally rehearsed what I could say that was positive (The girls have fantastic teachers!) and admitted to my true soul tribe the reality (I worry this will ruin us all!). It has been a long climb with crumbling footholds.
But here we are.
Tomorrow will officially be the last day of the first two weeks of school and coincidentally or otherwise, my thirty-third birthday. I have learned a lot in those two spans of time but they amount to much of the same advice and it is this; it will get better and you won’t believe it until it has. Though this lesson has shown up again and again in my life – it has never been as glaring as it is presently with the school situation.
So I don’t ask. I say a little prayer to you so that you know I am praying another one on your behalf. If you offer up your joys or your worries I will be here for you of course, but I won’t be the one to drawn them out; life has a funny way of metamorphosing people and can only do so when the time is right. It will get better and you won’t believe it until it’s happened.

 

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