This is the simplest yet most effective advice that I can ever share with you. Hopefully, you have at least one pragmatic friend/family member/book character that you hold dear that has offered this revolutionary principle with you – but just in case you are lacking one, have no fear – that is what I am here for. I can’t tell you how many hours I have spent brooding, sullen, or otherwise inwardly loathsome of simple stupid stuff that I have the power to change, but for one reason or another I stall on. (Know this – it could likely be combined into days if not weeks).
I am talking about wearing the running sneakers that you bought because you absolutely loved the color / found on clearance / or matched that one pair of “dress” yoga pants that you save for big occasions but rubs your left heel raw. Or that super comfy tissue paper thin long sleeved tee that fits everywhere but the neckline (why would anyone make such a small gash in the top and declare it boat neck?!). Or my personal undoing – the bra that I should have thrown out a good six months ago but I am trying to resuscitate against its will…gentle reader, I hope that you have no idea what I am talking about – but this would be a bra (well really the remnants of one anyway) that might have one underwire that juts out like a fin from underneath your arm, or boasts hooks in the back that have been mangled in the washing machine and remolded with needle nose pliers to resemble their original shape so many times that they have snapped off on now flagellate your back with every step you take, or even a shoulder strap that has gone slack so that even if you are blessed with anti-gravity, perfect symmetry that certainly isn’t what you are showcasing now…(for a select few this single bra has ALL THREE FEATURES).
The easy question for any sane person to ask would be something along the lines of WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU CONTINUE TO WEAR THAT?! The answer is complicated but can be distilled to this cold, hard fact: that I can live with this. Until, of course, you can’t.
When you get to that point (and some warning signs that you are there or rapidly approaching it can be summed up as “extreme sensitivity to the world around you” – totally my own diagnosis and all but you get my drift), you need to shake it up. You need to buy a new bra, or three. This of course doesn’t mean that I think you should go straight to La Perla and spend the rent money on new lingerie, it can be as simple as pulling three IN YOUR SIZE – (and please double, quadruple, quintuple check this) in order to get on with your life without endangering the other people who inhabit it. The same goes for the running shoes you can’t run in or the shirt that would fit perfectly if only it fit right. The best possible way to move toward the life we want or the happiness that seems to elude us is to set aside the things that aren’t meant for us and keep working toward the things that are. Sometimes, we are lucky enough to have secured the big things – a sense of well-being, a stable family life, security in one way or another, so we put up with the little hindrances, in possibly a twisted act of humbleness only to find that it is driving us up the wall. If we are brave enough and clear enough to examine what is and isn’t working and then do something to change it for the better – other things follow suit by falling into place.
I cannot say that hearing the kids pull the doors closed in a consistent ‘slam-close’ (as opposed to turning the handle and quietly closing their doors) isn’t noticeable to me right now. But I can tell you that because I bought a properly fitting bra today, it isn’t making me want to shake my fist in the air like an angry, brow-furrowed mean neighbor at them either. This is exactly how I hacked my life today.