My girls

This is not about my two daughters… They would be my obvious “girls”. This is for the village that never let me give up. Of course, first and foremost is my husband – demonstrably not a girl. It all begins and ends with him as my sun rises and sets with him (outdated, old fashioned, I don’t care, I will take all the terms: this is my truth and I can handle any labels stuck to it). But then there are my girls. The ladies who forced me to show up, to shut up, to grow up and who made me the mother I became this year.

Alex. You have fur babies but I have so many mothering instincts because of your demeanor around my kids. You are amazing and I love you. And seriously?! Nail stickers? Who knew?

Allison. This girl cut straight through my soul. She is cool, calm and collected and I was terrified of her until she smiled the first time and it was almost like the sun came out behind the clouds. I rose to the occasion because she made me feel like that was the best representation of who I could possibly be. Girl, THANK YOU.

Amy. I can’t even fit all the words to encompass this soul. She made me get up, she made me show up. She showed me who she saw me to be so many times that I actually believed her vision. Thank you.

April. Hey, girl, hey. Thank you for every time you called me. Every time you called the kids to sing happy birthday. Every time we became sisters on our own terms.

Auntie M. Every text, every call, it meant something to me.

B. The Queen B, Miss Diana’s mom. I prayed to you so many times and you came through each time. Thank you and you are missed. So much.

Brittany. You always land on your feet and it made me believe that I could too. You are 100 percent who you are and you apologize for none of it. I confused this with defiance but I see this as freedom. You do you girl.

Catherine and Christine. My cousins. I have modeled everything I want for my girls’ future based on your lives. I love you and your free spirits and your unblemished view of life. You are doing great.

Coco. You took the world by storm by redefining who you are. I will never forget your kindness when I was a new fragile mom and the mean girls circled tight.

Diana. Your snack backpack. Your unbiased view of the world. Your fervent love of your family. You will never stop inspiring me.

Jen S. – You complete me. You make me want to be a better me. You make me want to be a Blanche, or any golden Girl really. I cry when I talk to you and that is always okay with you. You set me free.

Jenny-enny-dot. I hold you in my heart to be the pinnacle. I miss you.

Kaarin. My soulmate. The Fork to my spoon. You held Little Sister just after she was born and you were her spirit animal ever since. You have loved me unconditionally and whole heartedly made me believe that I am the second best mom ever (just behind your own) and I put on the armor of trusting you on that.

Maryl. Thank you. I looked at your handwritten notes to me and it felt like home. I can’t explain it and I DON’T HAVE TO. Thank you.

Mom. Oh my GAWD. Every single phone call I make: you take. You were calm, you were angry. YOU WERE THERE. Thank you, Mom.

Nana. I always pray to you and ask for guidance. You always tell me I am doing the right thing. But you always did. I love how you love me.

Stephanie. It started with a car seat. When you told me (so calmly) to STOP TALKING RIGHT NOW AND LISTEN when I was trying to install a car seat in the car, that babies bounce – when my big rolled off the bed and I thought she was brain damaged for sure, I fell in love with you right there.

There are SO MANY girls I am missing, so many people who saw me through on my worst days that strung together to make a year. But I promise you that if you were kind to me, if you were helpful in ANY way in meant something to me. I couldn’t have done it without you.


2 thoughts on “My girls

  1. Oh my GAWWWWWD! STAAAAP! I’m in tears. I swear we’re soul sisters and by some miracle we crossed paths right when we were supposed to (and finally realized we should actually be friends and form a sisterhood. Lol. WHAT TOOK US SO LONG!?) I love your heart. I love your outlook and everything you stand for, dream of, aspire to and inspire me to be. Keep chasing those dreams. I’m unbelievably proud of you and honored to be part of your journey. Love you, mama. XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

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