I didn’t realize how bad I was at taking rejection until I started actually getting rejected all the time, just about every time I submitted my work to small publications or online organizations. I read somewhere (and I think the quote can be attributed to Denzel Washington) that the biggest threat to progress is ease. And I’m beginning to believe that more and more every single day. I have been incredibly lucky in that I took a huge chance by trying to write professionally and landed a paid writing gig three short months after I declared my intention. Prior to that I put it out there and the universe answered back loud and clear in the most magnificent way imaginable. Since then I’ve taken quite a few shaky steps and proverbially wobbled my way into higher-quality writing. I think that my irritation or dissatisfaction lately with myself has come from a place where I am seeing a big disconnect between my expectations and my current situation. It hasn’t been easy and in a way in this particular arena that’s kind of new to me which makes me sound like a total jerk but I am going to write it anyway because I am more concerned with getting my thoughts down so I can sort them out than I am with worrying about how someone else might perceive me for thinking them in the first place. If this seems a little like I am rambling it’s probably because I’m totally rambling. But I’ve learned in this time that I have to work my way through all the crud to get to the gold. I was worried in the beginning about posting The Crud because I confused my blog with a totally representation of my writing and I have quickly learned that they’re not the same thing.
This blog has provided me with a space where I can practice and stretch my wings and get valuable feedback from other writers as well as people that love me (and sometimes both) in order to be the best version of myself. Every blog post that I write is not indicative of hours spent in rewrites and edits for creatively thinking about how to use prose expertly. It’s more of a crash pad. For a very long time a part of me wanted to constantly (and probably did) apologize for that but I’m learning as I’m going but I’m not at all sorry for working my way through challenges and I have rejection to thank for that.