Do something. Anything. Send a text, make a phone call or write a card. But do it.
I am an analysis paralysis queen when it comes to other people’s pain. What if I say something stupid, or hurtful or irritating? What if they don’t want to talk or they think I am being nosy? I can’t tell you how many times I backed off when I should have stepped up and how in the end that was so much worse.
Sometimes we can’t find the words to say what we feel. But it all boils down to one word anyway: love. So say that. If you don’t say anything else, you can say I love you. It can be I am sorry and I love you or this sucks and I love you or even I don’t know what I could possibly say and I love you. (I am guessing that you get the important part).
Greif can be tremendously isolating and although you can’t “fix” someone’s grief (and by now you KNOW how desperately I want to fix everything and also how that ends up working out for me…) you can let the person know that you are thinking of them and that somewhere just outside their pain is your love for them. That alone tells them that you are there for them now and you will be there for them when they are ready, however long that may take.