The list of acceptable vices

Girls are crazy. That is what we hear all the time. I recently head of something called the crazy/hotness matrix wherein there is a scientific (just kidding) correlation between how beautiful a woman is and how crazy she is. Hint: the hotter you are the crazier you are expected to be. Which is sexist and all but at the end of the day, in a way, gives women a sort of fluid free pass at being a hot mess on occasion – which, regardless of sexual identity – I hate to say, we all are.

It had me thinking about all the acceptable vices that have come along lately. As women, we are expected to be a little crazy (and given a pseudo-pat on the head with the reminder that this somehow translates into us being beautiful). Maybe I have exploited this stereotype (and done a disservice to woman kind) because in certain scenarios I do go a little batty… For example, I require a shower daily. I would like to think that is because I am part mermaid, but I think it has a lot more to do with the chakra cleanse of water hitting the top of my head and washing away bad energy that I have accumulated. (I know woo-woo, and new-agey – if that explanation leaves you cold, we will just have to agree that it’s a hygiene thing and a shower physically embodies wiping the slate clean…). I drink coffee – though not anywhere near as much as I used to in the early baby days (my kids’ early baby days, not my own, which would be awkward…) and that seems like a solid “vice” to have picked up in adulthood.
There’s the glass of wine or cocktail while making dinner that has been commonplace for so many – or a fondness for champagne brunches and Bloody Mary’s (for the record I am out on all of these). Or there is the habit of shoe buying and the penchant for anything involving cheese (I’m not really a shoe collector but I do love cheese…). I read quite a bit – which again has a way of being seen as a vice (for me there is no such thing as too many books on my nightstand though my husband disagrees – making outrageous claims that “I can’t really read fourteen books at a time” and “maybe I should pace myself and only borrow one or two titles” sheesh. Working out is another one – with the prevalence of #WOOTD and #DOYOUEVENLIFT, it is almost a continuous game of catch up and a prized vice to boot.

It seems that as long as you are barreling toward something as fast as you possibly can – it is okay for you to be doing it. Saying that you’d rather be sitting quietly radiating peace is only cool if you are doing it full time in Lululemon living that #yogalife. The average person might simply water the grass but fully living would be joining the Peace corps and dedicating the next eight months of your life to building infrastructure to promote sustainable agriculture in a country you had never been to before – or else why bother, right? (For the record, both of these extremes are commendable and I haven’t done either so I know not of what the flip side of sitting quietly and watering the grass really feels like…)

Here is my vice, my real one; I am totally okay with being temporarily mediocre. Shocking, right? If you aren’t appalled yet, let me add that I am not even aiming for being the “okayest” of them all. Sigh. Somedays, I kick it into high gear and I do all the things and make all the progress and send all the texts and full incarnate my best self. And other days I eat peanut butter by the spoonful and deem that “Living”. Call me crazy, but that is a vice I am completely willing to accept and I think there is beauty in that too.


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