I went to Target three times today and I am not even kidding you. Normally, there is no bigger fan of the store than Big Sister, but as she left (for the third time) with me tonight she told me that she never wanted to go there again. Like ever. Or at least for a few days.
Today all the bedding and bath goods were 30% off. A sale like that makes a certain type of person a bit reflective on when exactly was the last time a new towel was purchased. They might question if the shower curtain that was hung for the first time 12 years ago could stand to be updated. They could wonder aloud if the trusted plastic waste bin that came in handy for all those bouts of the stomach flu through the years had justly served its time.
The thing about Target is that everything looks cool in the store. Maybe it’s the heavenly aroma of Starbucks being brewed, or the fact that I don’t have to wield the giant behemoth cart to carry a two ton diaper bag and two wriggly children that frees me to think that one of everything would fit nicely into my life. A rose gold unicorn bust? Love it. A giant Nautical knot of gold yarn? Ahoy Matey! Lace underpinnings that are smaller than my palm? I should probably own those so I am ready to go when I lose sixty pounds.
I don’t want to blow your mind with the wild and outrageous things we ended up buying, so brace yourself first: Floor lamps, a bookshelf, a soap dispenser, tissue cover and waste basket, shower curtain, rod and hooks, white towels and liquid soap. This somehow cost us 4 million dollars. Oh, and I bought a pack of gum that last time too – which is probably why I blew my budget.
All joking aside, we had gift cards and cash and the effect of those changes was profound. Also, I highly recommend the “team building” exercise of assembling furniture with your significant other. If you can follow an eighteen step pictograph that requires the insertion of approximately three hundred tiny pieces while using your hands and both feet in tandem with another person – you will be okay in the long run.