Prior to Rihanna telling me to “work, work, work, work, work, ehmyshebby, shabby, work”, (I probably should have held off with quotation marks around that because I am still 50/50 about what she’s saying), Tim Gunn urged me (okay, so contestants on Project Runway, sheesh!) to “make it work”. They were both right. Today I put it all into practice.

You should know that my husband usually carves the pumpkin for Halloween. As in, he has a roll of tools like any other serious sculptor that he unfurls before getting to work creating a masterpiece. Like the time he carved out a scene from Backdraft or the time he made it look like a biohazard with toxic goo eating through the fruit . Though I have carved a pumpkin before, I usually defer to his talent. This year he couldn’t do it, so with approximately two nerves left, and funnily enough, two days before Halloween, I set out to do the deed.

With four divergent personality types I figured the fairest way to go out the task was to create a blended jack-o-lantern by way of a draw of features from a hat. For example, someone would pick a style for the eyes; someone else chooses the mouth, etc. My husband got stuck with “nose” and when I inquired about the style he went with the ever popular “I don’t care”. I almost severed my fingers, almost shattered the glass table top outside and almost threw the pumpkin over the fence (into the canal). But, I knew I had to “make it work” by doing all that “ehmyshebby, shabby, work”.

We pulled out the seeds for roasting *the girls fought with goopy handfuls of guts trying to schlepp the pulpy ruins across the miraculously still intact glass top. Then we carefully separated the seeds from the fruit *I wasn’t keeping track but I am pretty sure I did the first 127 and the girls did the other three seeds. We created a brine * Big Sister poured salt into a bowl by furiously shaking it out of a salt shaker and into a teaspoon – which meant that it mostly got on the counter. We swirled the seeds into the brine *Little Sister violently sloshed the water around while eyeing the ONE Swedish fish I was about to consume and in slow motion grabbed for a neighboring pack of candy, sending the water, salt and seeds cascading down the counter, cabinets and garbage disposal until it pooled onto the tile and memory foam kitchen mat. Good times.

In the end, I chose a triangle nose for my husband and he didn’t even complain about my lack of imagination. I pulled all the seeds out of the disposal – believe me, stuff gets caught in there and that thing will not spin if it’s jammed (especially with glass but that was another blog post…). I discarded those and quadruple rinsed the rest. I cleaned the counters and the cabinets and forgave Little Sister for her grabbiness and myself for my crabbiness (Okay, so yes, I said Sh*t AGAIN, just like the glass in the disposal day, but I feel like we are getting off track with all that…).

It’s not a good time to carve a pumpkin when you are tired, and cranky, and not good at it. But it’s a good time to do it when your kids are little and hopeful and looking to you to do the right thing especially when you feel like you can’t possibly. That was the time that I had to make it work. So I did.


2 thoughts on “Jack-o-m-g

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