A one act play entitled “please brush your teeth” or why I am so crazy by 8:00 p.m.

The scene opens on a woman standing over a kitchen sink. She has doubled back to the sink because she has already done all but one of the dishes (including the pots and pans she used to cook and serve dinner on). The dish in question was abandoned at the dining room table and covered, peculiarly, on the outside of the bowl in melted chocolate ice cream. It is same flavor of ice cream that she should not have eaten but gave in to, though she put her dish in the dishwasher. She looks out the window overlooking the street. The digital clock reads almost thirty minutes after bedtime.

Mom: “Please brush your teeth”.

Little Sister: “I want to fix the Halloween treat bags”. (The same ones that she swore she could handle assembling but upon inspection are disproportioned in a way that would never be equitable in the distribution process. Some have been assembled with hair ties in place of the silver foil twist ties they came with).

Mom: “We will redo the treat bags this weekend, Halloween is more than a week away, it will get done. Please go brush your teeth”.

Little Sister: “You never make Big Sister brush her teeth and this morning she didn’t flush the toilet and I don’t want to go into our bathroom because I remember that she didn’t flush the toilet and I don’t care if it is just pee, it’s gross and I can’t brush my teeth”.

Mom: (leaves kitchen, proceeds to girls’ bathroom and sprays Lysol) “I am spraying for any germs left over from this morning that may be lingering. Your bathroom is now pleasant smelling and disinfected, please brush your teeth”.

Little Sister: “I can’t brush my teeth because I am lonely and I don’t want to be alone in my bathroom”. (Though Big Sister is in the bathroom at the time).

Mom: “Big Sis-“. (Mom is cut off before she can point out that Little Sister would not, in fact, be alone in the bathroom).

Little Sister: “I don’t WANT Big Sister to be in here with me. She didn’t flush the toilet this morning and I don’t care if it was just pee, it’s gross even if you sprayed the germs away”.

Dad: “Listen to your mother and brush your teeth”.

Mom: “I will get my toothbrush and join you”. (Mom goes to her bathroom to retrieve toothbrush and upon so much talk of peeing recalls, she is, in fact, in dire need to use the restroom).

Little Sister: “Arga-fubba-diddle-a-googh-gooush-galumbubbub”. (Stating that mother should not be using the restroom, but should be brushing her teeth beside her – but said with a mouthful of toothpaste and active brushing).

Mom: (walking across house with toothbrush in hand pauses at the kitchen to turn off the light and notices the spoon that accompanied the rogue ice cream bowl is half loaded and set directly on the cloth placemat, opens dishwasher, stacks spoon, carries placemat to laundry room and heads to the girls’ bathroom). “Let’s brush”.

Little Sister: “I am already done brushing. Big Sister hasn’t brushed her teeth yet”.

Mom: “Big Sister, Please brush your teeth”.

Big Sister: “I was hoping we could fix the Halloween treat bags”.

End Scene

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3 thoughts on “A one act play entitled “please brush your teeth” or why I am so crazy by 8:00 p.m.

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