Whatever, October…

I’m not sure exactly where October got off thinking it was July (worst month ever), but somehow it did. October got off to a rough start for us. And it shows no signs of slowing down the old train wreck. Which leaves me no other option but to pay attention to what really matters and take a brief meditation on gratitude. Here are the top five things that I am, without equivocation, grateful for.

1) Family. That sounds cheesy and like a cop-out but I mean it with every proton (Ha ha ha ha, thinking positive and all) available to me. I am deeply and fiercely in love with my husband which is a pretty cool thing to be and one that I don’t take lightly. I am not perfect and he is not either (if you tell his Mom I said that I will deny it). But I have always been encouraged and developed into my best self because of him. Our kids may fight with each other and leave rubber crocs in the middle of the floor but I adore them and thank every star I see for making my wishes come true. We have our moments individually but together we always stick together. I was lucky enough to have parents that allowed me the grace of flaws and always take my calls (joy, despair and every kind in between) – which I know not everyone has.

2) Friends. When you are younger, or at least when I was, there was a degree of dismissiveness when discussing friends – as if they would be temporary. But I am ridiculously fortunate enough to have solid friendships that last miles and life changes and years growing in different directions. Maybe because I never learned how to live without them I have never had to try to.

3) Resilience. I have spent a great deal of my life waiting – and I thought it was a bad thing until I got to the “now”. In those times I learned a type of patience that I never knew I would rely so heavily on. Rough times, uncertain times, even times of outright fear – It shaped me and it enabled me to believe that I could make it through anything that came my way. I know that saying “I don’t think I can do this” to the right person is one of the surest ways to doing that very same thing.

4) Troubleshooting. They say if it ain’t broke – don’t fix it, but there is no aphorism for when it’s almost always broke…you learn how things are really working – or maybe how they should have been all along when things breakdown. And though I don’t wish this forced learning on anyone, it’s the only way I know how. The flip side is that when things are working – you’re a/c purrs on when you anticipate it or the washing machine wrings out almost every drop of water from the clothes – I can hardly contain myself as I tap my hand along it and say thanks, girl! (Can we agree that the a/c and the washing machine are both girls? I hope so).

5) Hope. It floats. No matter how many rocks you heap on it (insert Charlie Brown’s “I got a rock” line here) it still rises above the rest and keeps on going. It has sustained me into actual belief more times than I can count and is responsible for the great majority of any success I encounter. No matter what happens, I hope for the best and know that one day, no matter how dark it gets I will be able to turn it into something else, a funny story, a cautionary tale or maybe even a blog post…


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