I was trying to come up with a theme for tonight’s blog, but I sidetracked myself with reading other people’s work and editing the other projects I have. Now it’s almost 9:30 p.m. and the best I can do is http://www.notfeelinittonight.com. Which should totally be a website (I would google that, but it will lead to other searches and before I know it I will be 84 thread replies deep on a separate issue. Know thyself.).
Today was a success in all the ways that really count. I am still alive for one, as are my family members and friends (and, you, darling reader – you look great, by the way). I successfully avoided a pet rat suffering from G.I. issues (no, it wasn’t MINE. Yes, that sounded judgmental and no I won’t take it back, AP). I broke up fights than included “I am crying because she laughed and I told her it wasn’t funny, but she laughed anyway” without losing my cool and I even showered today.
So what is it about this time of night that leaves me a little restless? Dana Carvey’s “Church Lady” might suggest Satan, but I am thinking a bit lighter than that. It’s the list that my toughest critic (spoiler alert, it’s my girl, ME) makes for me that I can never, ever complete. The list is like laundry, you could spend all day meticulously doing each and every article and then you notice the towel with a mascara swipe on it or the other sock you couldn’t find earlier and before you know it – the hamper isn’t empty anymore.
Here is my suggestion to you if you find yourself in my shoes (and I am about to take my own advice in just a minute here too). Close the effing door on the real or imagined refilling hamper and go to bed. Start over tomorrow when you aren’t anxious or disappointed or tired with a pounding headache. I can be kind to just about everyone but myself and this is a hard lesson for me to apply in real time, but it’s just as vital as all the other times I pushed through or coffee-ed up. Tonight I am going to be thankful that I stayed committed to writing again and I will be back at it – but renewed, tomorrow.