Homie don’t gray that way

Years ago, Selma Hayek addressed aging in a popular fashion magazine (super vague and terrible reporting but I subscribe to more than five and I have for about ten years so I am taking the lazy route and not finding then linking the exact article). Okay, fine, here it is. 22nd May 2006 Quote: “I had a grey hair once, but I reversed it. I didn’t pull it out, I just willed it to go away.” Actress Salma Hayek offers advice on how to banish the signs of aging. Read more at http://www.contactmusic.com/salma-hayek/quotes#Zq39hfSWL7fYlwdC.99 I didn’t really fear getting gray hair because that wouldn’t happen until I was oh, I don’t know, 85 or so. When it did, I would just will it away, you, know, like Selma did.

It would be disgustingly ageist to suggest that my daytrip to the botanical gardens in the middle of a weekday was categorically an event enjoyed by a more senior population but that is what I am going with to tell you what I have to tell you next. Perhaps, I was mistakenly targeted as a retiree today, because I have spotted an interloper in the midst of an otherwise dark field of companions. I have a gray hair. (Technically, I HAD a gray hair, because after willing as hard as I could, without success, I took tweezers and removed the offender).

To which I politely say, no. No, thank you gray hair. Not here. Not yet.

My husband has a fine dusting of gray in his dark hair and you know what that makes him look like? A million dollars. He looks distinguished. He looks trustworthy. He looks like a man who knows things, I don’t just mean that in an awkward eye-brow wiggling creepy way I might emphasize if we were just friends having a chat and I was a little tipsy…I mean that he looks like a person that is somehow both smoother and more rugged than he was when I met him at nineteen. He got those grays making thoughtful, intricate, difficult decisions. He earned them.

On me? I look frazzled and haggard. As if at any moment I could turn into the cartoon Kathy and a bubble shouting AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! would appear above my head. How is that fair? The problem that any self-respecting unwanted hair removing vigilante can understand is that I have now crossed the line. I have felled a comrade and more will be returning to seek their vengeance.

Until I can deal with this whole situation properly (because my children are asleep and I can’t just run out to Walmart and buy every box of hair color available, like a normal person) I will leave you with the images from the gardens today that soothed my soul no matter my age or state of hair. Until then, friends, Namaste a gray free zone…

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10 thoughts on “Homie don’t gray that way

  1. Girl, the invaders have definitely started to stage a coup on my scalp. I think the first few cropped up around the time I turned 30 (because, insult to injury), and now that I’m nearing 35, the grays are making a statement. A statement that says, “You’re no spring chicken, sister.” Sigh. Off to channel my inner Selma.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Will it away?! Ha. I have grey hairs too. But my hair is blonde so you really have to look for them. Praise God for that. I’m sure you are beautiful with or without 🙂

    The flowers are gorgeous. That is a really good idea. We have a good botanical garden here that I should visit more regularly to decompress.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my God. Lol!! I freakin love you. I tell myself all the time, “If I have to be the next Sophia Petrillo, so be it!” But actually aging gracefully and accepting wrinkles and sagging and gray hairs… Oy. I can do the straw purses and beaded chain attached to my glasses. I’ll rock that All. Day. Long. But the other stuff, well… My advice to us both (“neutral tone with a smirk and a one sided shoulder shrug”) Get over it 😉

    (Kidding!! Don’t block me from your page!)

    Liked by 1 person

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