It is a far too common phenomenon that when you put most of your energy into a specific area of your life, the other areas seem to stagnate or even regress. Lately, I have focused on establishing the kids’ comfort in school, cleaning up our diet and writing. What I have been doing very little of is exercising. Even though I was eating better, sleeping better and generally feeling better mentally, I haven’t been feeling good physically.
I was prepared to come home from drop off and get to work writing the blog or working on a few side projects but something shifted as I pulled up to curb at school with the kids. I wanted to run. I wanted to run free, without a stroller or dog leash or any ties but my earbuds and music. So I did.
I started out thinking I would do a 5k, just a light little run to get me back in the swing of things – sunshine on my shoulders and the wind in hair. I made that into a 3.5 mile run to the gym where I biked for five miles. Then I remembered that I have only run once or twice in the past few months. Needless to say that the 3.5 miles back were more of a power walk that took approximately two lifetimes to complete.
But I felt better. I felt stronger and able and alive the way I always do when I am taking care of myself. There will forever be a reason why I don’t think I can be the best in some area of my life, but for a few hours today I didn’t think about what I wasn’t doing or what I was giving up to be in that moment (moments, really and lots of them!). Yes, the breakfast dishes still needed to be done when I returned home. So did the laundry and all the rest of what I had put off. I was going to do it anyway, it didn’t really matter what time it was when they were done.
If I hadn’t broken the routine of knocking out all the stuff that needed to be done, I am certain that I would find myself unable to push through a workout at the end of the day today (again). I know how easy stalled weight loss turns to a pound or two gained, then five, then eleven. Instead of reinforcing my belief that I couldn’t get it together and make the effort to exercise today, I went with my gut instinct. Yes, my feet are sore and my ankles are confused but I feel triumphant that I didn’t sit this one out. I’m not going to be the person I want to be if I embrace the struggle in only one area of my life, trying to master it before moving on to the next task. Life is a bit too impatient for that and I believe I am as well.